Nothing like a good fitness class to clear your mind.
I went to Vandie’s class today carrying the weight of my memories.
At first, those memories were heavy and indeed felt like lead weights.
I got mad.
I fought back – and kept pushing.
I forgot about the memories trying to focus on the class.
The music propelled me through.
I felt great – I had a bounce in my step. I heard the music.
I enjoyed the beat and lost myself for a while.
My heart pounded like it would explode.
I was MAD! NO! I would NOT stop! I pushed through.
Screw the pain – screw the past – screw cancer.
For then – for now – I am the victor – not the memory.
I was lost in fitness and it felt wonderful.
I still feel wonderful. I realize it takes more courage to go back to fitness than it does to do fitness.
It is the stand after the fall that is the toughest part.
It is the living after the near-death that is the greatest challenge.
To return is to face your weakness – whatever it may be.
So – back I go.
And I’ll go again. I WILL step out of the shadows of cancer. Damn it!