Posts Tagged With: depression

The stand after the fall

Nothing like a good fitness class to clear your mind.

I went to Vandie’s class today carrying the weight of my memories.

At first, those memories were heavy and indeed felt like lead weights.

I got mad.

I fought back – and kept pushing.

I forgot about the memories trying to focus on the class.

The music propelled me through.

I felt great – I had a bounce in my step.  I heard the music.

I enjoyed the beat and lost myself for a while.

My heart pounded like it would explode.

I was MAD!  NO!  I would NOT stop!  I pushed through.

Screw the pain – screw the past – screw cancer.

For then – for now – I am the victor – not the memory.

I was lost in fitness and it felt wonderful.

I still feel wonderful.  I realize it takes more courage to go back to fitness than it does to do fitness.

It is the stand after the fall that is the toughest part.

It is the living after the near-death that is the greatest challenge.

To return is to face your weakness – whatever it may be.

So – back I go.

And I’ll go again.  I WILL step out of the shadows of cancer.  Damn it!

Categories: cancer, determination, inspiration, journal, life | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Peas Sir – I Want Some More!

I have become a fan of technology – somewhat.

I was sitting in my livingroom yesterday watching pictures that had been uploaded to my digital picture frame when I realized that a whole new series of old photos had been added.  My daughter bought me a photo frame that can receive new images through email and so I often get new photos – but not so often do I get the old ones.  These images, as it turned out, had been scanned by Mary Anne and Megan.  They were images I hadn’t seen for years.

The one that I was most surprised with was the photo I’ve inserted into this post.  I must have been 9 or 10 at the time.  The older gentleman standing with me was my Grandfather William Taylor (my Mom’s Dad).

Grandpa Taylor lived with Grandma (Jacobina Roy) in Scone, Scotland.  He’d come and visit my Mom, Dad, sister Peg, and I every once in a while.  This particular photo was taken when he came during the pea harvest.

My daughter, Stacey, was surprised that we grew peas and the resulting conversation is the material for this post.

During the depression, you see, you’d grow anything you could sell.  My father grew 25 acres of peas.  They were harvested in the fall.  You had to catch them at the right time. Farming peas was hard work as you had to walk along side the horses who pulled the mower that cut the pea plants.  Once they were cut, you would pick up the plants and put them in piles or heaps (called coils) with a hay fork. The neighbours would then come and up pick up the coils.  The peas would dry and then we’d thrash the plants to separate the peas.  Stacey asked me how much we’d pay the neighbours.  I chuckled and said, “nothing”.  We were part of a community and farmers would help each other – their pay was taken in the form of an IOU – when they needed help you were there.

We sold the peas to McCausland in Stayner who then sold them to a canning company.

I don’t remember much more about that “peas”ful experience (couldn’t resist that pun), but I do know that we worked hard and felt a great sense of accomplishment at the end of the day.  

Categories: New Lowell | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

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