Posts Tagged With: Bill Duff

“Bridges out of Poverty”

I remember my Dad’s response to my question about how he and his family survived the Great Depression.

“We were fine.  The worst impact I felt was that our pants had holes that needed to be mended.”

Today, I realize that his family only suffered from financial poverty.

I have learned that it takes more than money to dig out of poverty.  In fact, one can be wealthy (money-wise) and still be poor.

Here is what I have learned one needs to be poverty-free: emotional, spiritual, physical, cognitive, and finally financial resources.

Of all these resources, things one can rely upon to help in a pinch, the greatest is emotional.  If you were to be gifted a million dollars today and could not control your impulses … the money would be gone in under a year.  Right?  So many people, me included, make emotional purchases – otherwise known as impulse buying.

Spiritual resources are those that assist one with direction – to help determine priorities, real goals that can give one a sense of purpose in life.  A million dollars will not help someone with no purpose.

Physical resources is the gift of health.  Money is no good if you don’t have your health.

Cognitive resources refer to “education”.  Without an education, it is true, that you can still be illiterate, but education opens doors.  If you have a million dollars, and don’t know how to invest it or protect it – or spend it wisely, why would you feel free from the clutches of poverty?

My Dad and his family had all the resources they needed during the depression.  Although they were not financially rich, they were very well off.  And this wealth of “other” more important resources allowed him to earn and keep money in the future.

Our focus on poverty, must not be on financial poverty.  Our focus must be on helping people to develop resources including emotional, cognitive, physical, and spiritual.

(This lesson on poverty was inspired by Dr. Ruby Payne’s work:  Bridges out of Poverty.  For more reading, check out:  http://www.ahaprocess.com/About_Us/Ruby_Payne.html)

Categories: Life's Lessons | Tags: , , , , , , | 2 Comments

10 000 and counting: Thank-you

A toast to life!

Mom and Dad toasting at their 40th anniversary

Yesterday was Remembrance Day and to honour my Dad, Flight Lieutenant WJ Duff, I tried to promote readers to check out Dad’s WWII stories.  I made an appeal to have 1, 000 “reads”.  He never thought anyone would be interested in his stories.

Yet, yesterday, with the help of fellow bloggers, Dad’s stories reached 2, 000 of you and that brought his total reads to over 10 000:  my goal.

A million thank-yous to all of you who helped me to remember Dad and his efforts to establish peace.  What an honour it would have been for Dad to see this kind of response.

Although my heart remains heavy as it has only been since June that he has, “moved to a better address”, I know that he is a peace and thankful for his remembrance.

Today happens to also be the day – two years today – when Mom, Paula Duff (ne Malloff) passed away very unexpectedly.  It was very difficult on Dad to lose his bride of 61 years but he was a trooper.  He remembered her every morning when he got up out of bed – every meal at the dining room table – every glass of wine – every celebration – every night as he lay down to rest.  And so did the rest of us.  She was with us as Dad remembered her to intensely.  It seems that our memory of Dad remembering her is now imprinted firmly into my mind.

Mom.  Paula.  Wife.  Daughter.  Nurse.  Aunt.  Teacher.  She was beautiful.

Today – we will remember Mom.

We will, as my daughter Katya advised me, remember her for her warmth and security, for her caring friendship and the memories that will live on in our hearts.  She is in pain no longer.  She will cook and sew to her hearts content.  I think there is quite a bit of “Nana” in my daughter.

So – here’s to all of our Moms and Dads who we hold dear in our hearts.  And here’s to one day when we will all meet again.   TTFN

Categories: Family and Friends, Mom | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

The Photo Frame in the Front Room

My first greeting in the morning flashes as a random light from the front room.

The source of the light is clear and I welcome it as equally as it welcomes me.

“Good morning, Mom.”, I say to the photo of Mom that flashes up on the digital photo frame.  “Good  morning, Dad.”, I say to the next image of Dad that appears on the screen.  The light from the photo frame seems to be getting brighter as the morning light begins to appear even later.

The images light up the room as much as they light my heart.

I move closer and stand by the frame for a while, just watching as my childhood flashes before me.

  • There’s lady – our first dog, anticipating a treat that Dad is holding to reward her for “sitting pretty”.
  • dad and I sitting on the balcony of his condominium
  • Mom – making her first attempt at using her new computer
  • Mom – wearing the neck brace that she had crafted to support her neck
  • Norman Kee at the farm
  • Mom, Dad, and I on the beach in Cuba.  Dad was standing without his walker then
  • Dad walking me down the aisle to marry Kevin.

And then reality hits – its time to go to school.  I turn away and think, “oh, just a few more.”  And I’m trapped by history again.

I love the frame – I hate the frame.

The memories are comforting and disturbing at the same time.

I visited Mom and Dad yesterday – prompted by seeing a little old lady at the grocery store who reminded me so intensely of Mom.  I had to leave the store quickly so that I would not draw attention to myself as I began to cry.  Funny how the emotions can be so suddenly intense.

  • There’s Tessie and her family at Dad’s condo – all of us enjoying each others’ company for Wednesday night dinner.
  • Mary and Dad toasting with a glass of wine on our front walkway just after Mary lost her own Mom.  Dad was a source of strength for her during that time too.

It’s time to go.  It’s time to say good-bye.. or at least TTFN.

My first greeting in the morning continues to flash as a random light from the front room as I walk away and move on with life.

“TTFN, Mom and Dad.”, I say to the photo of Mom giving Dad a peck on the cheek on the occasion of their 61st wedding anniversary.  TTFN

Bill and Paula Duff

Summer Smiles

 

 

 

 

 

Categories: Life After Dad, Mom | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

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