It’s been a pleasure working with you…

…said the voicemail from the lady at lawyer’s office.  The estate is closed.  It is all done. 

Wow – wow – wow.

You would think that after nearly a year that I wold be ready to draw a close to this – but the words hit me like a ton of bricks.  It was almost insulting to think that Mom and Dad had been reduced to those words… the “estate”.  Since the estate was closed, therefore, they were too?

I cannot understand why some things resonate with me in such a way.  It was a normal progression of which I was fully informed, not to mention the master behind.  It is like point A leads to point B and yes, of course, there you must follow.  Yet – there is an element of surprise that knocks the socks off you when you are least expecting.

To close an estate is a heck of a lot of blood, sweat, and mostly tears.  But it was a journey that I feel prepared me for the final destination more than had I not been able to take it.  It was a road that had never been travelled before.  Robert Frost sure did get it right in his poem, ‘Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening”. 

“Whose woods these are, I think I know.  His house is in the village, though.  I’m sure he won’t mind if I stop for a while to see his woods fill up with snow.”  (or something to that nature)  How ephemeral it must have all seemed then – as it does now.  What a temporal existence we live – to end with a phone message indicating it is all done. 

I look up from my computer screen to see an image of Mom and Dad smiling… those were happier times for them.  They were healthy – not a care about health issues or finances or death benefits.  They really had their eyes set on their own future.  I remember Mom often breaking into silent tears of her own to mourn the loss of her own mother – so, so many years before.  I thought how odd it was that one could feel such strong emotion nearly 50 years, then 55 years, then 60, and then some,  years after a loss.  I don’t look forward to that  – but what an honour it would be at the same time.  Bitter – sweet is the way I guess some would describe the feeling.

Several of my colleagues at work are going through the motions I once went through.  And although their pain is palpable, I am pleased to see the loyalty and dedication to their parents is as strong as mine was to my own parents.  It is heart-breaking and I feel the emotions all over again living through their own piece-by-piece loss.  A very wise friend of mine always said that, “the degree to which you grieve is a measure of the degree to which you have loved.”  I find comfort in that statement – knowing that the price I pay for the loss of my parents has great value measured in love … not money. 

Money, indeed, cannot buy happiness and I would exchange it all to have them back.  I know that if I actually could strike that deal I would feel horrible as I am confident they are in a better place now than when they were here.  It would be selfish of me to wish their return – – yet I dream. 

Tonight would be a good night to have them visit me in a dream.  I always take great comfort in their visits – although it has been a while since their last visit. 

Meanwhile, the dishes need doing, the floor needs vacuuming, and the family needs a Mom – in real time.  So, my friends at the lawyers office… I will bid you adieu and reply back, “It has been a pleasure working with you too.”



Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , | 10 Comments

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10 thoughts on “It’s been a pleasure working with you…

  1. It does seem so final, doesn’t it? But how wonderful that you and the lawyers were able to work through the estate process with success and to a conclusion with which your parent would be pleased.

  2. With all relationships there is work. Like the real time mom, the mom who goes to work to provide for the family, laundry, dishes, meals, sports, family time, bill paying, etc…

    Your mom and dad just gave you a FANTASTIC gift!!!! All of the work is done!!!! Through all of the time you loved and lived with your parents, there were always distractions of the work. Now, your time with your mom and dad, is fully, completely and wonderfully full-of love and memories.

    I bet they are saying….it’s not over, we finally got that out of the way. Let’s get on with it!!!!

    I bet they did a happy little jig!!

    • i WISH THERE WAS A LITTLE ‘LIKE’ ICON HERE.. I think you are, as usual, right. I feel better today – but man – a ton a bricks I tell you!

      • 🙂 I’m glad you feel better. I hope your Mother’s Day is full of happy memories and thoughts from your mom. And wonderful moments with your children. 🙂

  3. Daniela

    This is such a wonderfully warm post … it is a comfort indeed when loved ones visit us in our dreams, the side of consciousness.

    • Indeed – wish there were more ability to control when they visit – they are the guests that don’t visit often enough! Thanks, Daniela.

  4. Enjoyed this post. From one writer to another, thanks for checking out my blog. Keep coming back for more……..

    • Thank-you. I had to re-read it to remember it – such a long time ago and oh, so many adventures. I enjoy your writing too! Good to find you.

  5. Meaningful post for all. Father still lives with me (he’s 91) and mother passed 3 years ago. They moved in with me 13 years ago. There’s no estate as modest assets liquidated and my name on accounts. I was my mother’s home hospice nurse for those last 5 weeks. I relive bits and pieces every day. There is no finality, no closure like “it’s done”. Perhaps that is a good thing if you manage the feelings well and in context. Thanks visit my blog.

    • Thanks, Carl. Wow – you certainly had your hands full too. How wonderful that you cared for your parents and loved them so deeply to do so – it does take its toll – but I always supposed raising me took its toll on them! It has been 5 years since Mom passed and 3 for my Dad – yet I think of them both everyday… still miss them. I now understand why, after nearly 60 years after she had passed, my Mum sometimes cried at the loss of her own Mum.

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