Mom and Dad were finally layed to rest…


Since I remember, Mom had her nursing graduation photo above her bed and Dad had his pilot’s grad. photo above his.  They indicated who slept where – on which side of the bed.  They were icons.  Everyone who saw the photos commented on what a handsome couple they were.  “Your Mom was  a real looker” they’d say – and, “wow – what a mischievous smile your Dad had.” 

Any comment that was repeated in their company would be met with a blush and a grin.  “Oh”, Mom would say bashfully.  “I don’t know what happened to that gal”.  Dad would say, “yeah, cocky young pilot with the world at my feet.”

Those photos were as much Mom and Dad as Mom and Dad were.  They were the first things to come off the wall when they moved and the first to go back on the wall when they arrived.  They were legend. 

Tonight – the stager came to the condominium.  She was wonderful, kind, and sensitive. She kept watching me to see how I was reacting to the suggestions she made – but she missed my reaction – gut -wrench – when she took Mom and Dad’s photos off the wall.  They had been watching vigil over Dad as he passed and they had been watching vigil over the empty place as prospective buyers passed through.  What the stager knew had to happen, happened.  I knew it – and she knew it.  There was just too much Bill and Paula in that room. It took someone else to “do the deed”, but I knew it had to be done. 

I left apartment 1001 tonight knowing that things had changed.  Mom and Dad were no longer there – they never had been in the material things – always there in spirit in my heart. 

Yes – things were different – I was more peaceful.  Now, that’s not to say a few tears were shed as I entered into yet another stage into adulthood (finally).  But, it felt good. 

And I think they finally felt free to leave apartment 1001.  Finally, they were “off the wall”. 

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11 thoughts on “Mom and Dad were finally layed to rest…

  1. Well done, my friend well done! a few tears too, as I have shared those emotions as well.

  2. kistemaker3@rogers.com

    Stacey,

    Please let me know if you ever need a shoulder upon which to cry or an ear to listen. I appreciate the difficult times you are facing and would love to be there for you.

    Gwen
    Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network

  3. I love the way you say that your parents were finally free to leave the apartment. You may be interested in this quote from an article in our paper today. It relates to the loss of our buildings in the earthquakes but I think is applicable to many other situations of loss.” People tie memories and emotions to particular places and if the places are demolished, then they are no longer available to act as memory triggers.” The quote is from a forthcoming talk to be given by a local University history professor on the subject of lost landmarks and how we are at risk of losing pre-quake memories without these landmarks. I think your blog is so important in preventing lost memories.

    • I had never thought about it that way. Thank-you for that very healthy perspective. It makes me feel much better that I can share my thoughts – ramblings – and prevent memory loss. TTFN

  4. Wow. I hear an angel coming over the loud speakers saying “Bill and Paula have left the building”. And finally the crowd that loves them can leave and take their memories and laughter with them.

    You are wonderful.

    • Thanks, Colleen. This blog – and your support – have helped me heal and to be able to release my parents.

      • You are a wonderful daughter. The most difficult decision to leave here, I would think, is leaving our loved ones. 🙂 You seem to have been well loved by those two beautiful people.

  5. And now …. a new place for the pictures? Will you hang them?

  6. It’s so hard to lose parents. My thoughts and prayers are with you. We had my mom’s condo for sale for about a year after she died. I remember the days I sat in her chair and tried to feel her spirit in her home. Making the decision to sell is one step. Letting go to the next owner will be another. There’s a relief and a loss all in one transaction. However as you say, it’s really not about the building. I’m thankful that even when it is all gone, our parents still abide in our hearts…no building required! Bless you along your journey.

    • I guess we just need to have faith that things so happen for the best – the length of time for sale has allowed me to suffer less loss. Its comforting to know that someone else – you – did things like trying to feel for spirits too! Thank-you!

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