Is it time to move on to the next stage?


IMG_2601It has been a long time that Mom and Dads condominium has been on the market.  I did not know for the longest time whether to rent or to sell.  So, recently I did both – hoping Mom and Dad would guide the direction of the sale.

IMG_2606I am now realizing that if it is to be  – it is truely up to me.  I think this means I have reached another benchmark in my grief.  I asked, I waited, I anticipated a sign from my parents – hoping they would make yet another decision on my behalf.  Growing up, I never had to really take a lot of responsibility as Mom and Dad bailed me out.  If I was too tired to bake the loaf of bread for 4 – H club (as if any of you readers know what that is….) Mom would bake it for me.  Any dress that I did not finish (which was often as I had no patience for sewing) Mom would finish for me.  This could go on and on – but I think the pattern is quite obvious.  The condo is not selling and I was waiting for Mom and Dad to come to my rescue once again.

Tonight – I took the bull by the horns and called a stager.  I had no idea what that was until my real estate agent explained it – someone who can help make the place look more modern…. and I guess more sellable.  Anyhow, I feel like I have taken a big, bold step forward – on my own.  Imagine.  Maybe I am finally growing up?

Mom was always very proud of her home and I thought it looked very beautiful.  She had originally enrolled in University to become an interior decorator.  The war, however, broke out and her program was cancelled.  She took nursing instead.  Good thing because she turned out to be a wonderful nurse and put her talents to use her entire life.  Nontheless, here I am hiring someone to redesign what she had taken such time and loving care to design herself.  IMG_2593

What will be changed?  Will I remove Dads montage?  Will the stereo cabinet go?  Will the sheer curtains come down?  What about that chandelier?  It is all these things that I so heavily associated with Mom – yet it could very well be these things that need to be removed.  I think I am okay to let go now.  I did not think that I would ever be at this stage of the game.. but I believe now that it is time to move on.   I hope.

 

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Categories: Life After Dad, Mom | Tags: , , , , | 16 Comments

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16 thoughts on “Is it time to move on to the next stage?

  1. This stage may help ease the effect when the place sells. It won’t have as many of their personal touches. One step at a time…You may be having things removed…but – the time you spent with them, the love, the memories…will always be with you. {Hugs}

  2. Oh that is hard. A brave step and certainly a move to the next stage. I find the concept of staging quite difficult but I know it is what people seem to want these days. Folk are often looking for the house from the magazine or the TV home decor show rather than a home that has been loved and that they can continue to love. I also become terribly sad when I see hours of labour and love poured in to a garden only to have the next owner, who professes to love gardens, let it all go to ruin. But that is how it is and I guess we have to let go. More than anything, I expect your parents would not want their property to be a burden to you.

    • Oh, my goodness. It sounds like you have been talking to them. You are so right about the new era – and the want for their property to not be a burden. Funny – I have never seen it as such – nor was their care. My mother-in-law recently iterated those words too – and I explained: I never saw myself as a burden when I was younger…. it is family. That’s what family does – care for one another. Thank-you for the wonderful note.!

  3. It sounds like your mom and dad are still talking to you. Letting you make choices and decisions. Never do we end our need for parenting, as the receiver of parenting, or the giver of parenting. They know you will do what’s right for you here. “Here” only matters to you and they want you okay “here”. I hope that makes sense.

    • So true – about parenting. Ive always confessed that even on her death bed, my mom parented me. She taught me to live and taught me to how to die. Im hoping they have as much confidence in me as you have communicated, Colleen. So for here, and now, I have faith. Merci!

      • If they didn’t have that confidence in you, I don’t think they would have felt comfortable enough to go home. 🙂

      • Funny, my Dad visited me last night in my dreams. It made me feel confirmed that I did everything right for him. How comforting. Timing is all, eh?

      • Wow! Yeay Bill Duff! He is wise and knows how to encourage you still. Great timing.

  4. Make sure you take LOTS of pictures before things get changed. 🙂

  5. Life brings so many stages – and in each, there are both trials and blessings! What will be the secret blessing lurking in this place of letting go?

    • …Freedom. I felt it tonight. Thanks, Melody. I imagined the poems you would write should you ever pass through the halls of my parent’s place. It made me smile. Maybe I’ll try my hand at your style for a giggle. FYI – you will never see them on this blog. grin.

  6. Alice

    Oh, we do long for the days when decisions and responsibilities belonged to our parents, don’t we. But in exchange now, we have a new adulthood and empowerment. And in spite of pain–it feels good.

    • Indeed! I am seeing that my new independence has allowed me to become more focused on my own immediate family. I wonder if they like the new attention or not, however. grin.

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