It has been a long time that Mom and Dads condominium has been on the market. I did not know for the longest time whether to rent or to sell. So, recently I did both – hoping Mom and Dad would guide the direction of the sale.
I am now realizing that if it is to be – it is truely up to me. I think this means I have reached another benchmark in my grief. I asked, I waited, I anticipated a sign from my parents – hoping they would make yet another decision on my behalf. Growing up, I never had to really take a lot of responsibility as Mom and Dad bailed me out. If I was too tired to bake the loaf of bread for 4 – H club (as if any of you readers know what that is….) Mom would bake it for me. Any dress that I did not finish (which was often as I had no patience for sewing) Mom would finish for me. This could go on and on – but I think the pattern is quite obvious. The condo is not selling and I was waiting for Mom and Dad to come to my rescue once again.
Tonight – I took the bull by the horns and called a stager. I had no idea what that was until my real estate agent explained it – someone who can help make the place look more modern…. and I guess more sellable. Anyhow, I feel like I have taken a big, bold step forward – on my own. Imagine. Maybe I am finally growing up?
Mom was always very proud of her home and I thought it looked very beautiful. She had originally enrolled in University to become an interior decorator. The war, however, broke out and her program was cancelled. She took nursing instead. Good thing because she turned out to be a wonderful nurse and put her talents to use her entire life. Nontheless, here I am hiring someone to redesign what she had taken such time and loving care to design herself.
What will be changed? Will I remove Dads montage? Will the stereo cabinet go? Will the sheer curtains come down? What about that chandelier? It is all these things that I so heavily associated with Mom – yet it could very well be these things that need to be removed. I think I am okay to let go now. I did not think that I would ever be at this stage of the game.. but I believe now that it is time to move on. I hope.