I have not had much to say lately.
Mom and Dad continue to be on my mind – often – but I just don’t know what to write.
Maybe it’s writer’s block?
Maybe it’s grief?
Maybe it’s time to put closure to something else?
This blog, and all you wonderful readers, have been a great source of comfort for me through a very challenging time. I’ve lost both parents in less than 18 months. To me, this has been traumatic. It has been a long, long, journey.
I wonder now, though, if the journey is coming to an end?
Is it time to put this blog to bed?
The condo up for sale. I have a difficult time going back there to even check in on it. It’s difficult to go “back” in time.
Yet, I sit faithfully in front of the digital photo frame as images of our lives fade in and fade out. I sent some new photos to it the other day and I enjoy watching those fade in and out too.
What would it feel like to say, “good-bye” to this sentimental journey – or rather TTFN? Letting go is the hardest thing to do, yet I think I need to know my limits and not stay too long. I feel like the guest that never left… not knowing when enough is enough.
I need to move on – but how much of the past do we need to break from? Does the past propel us to the future?
Does the past help us to build a foundation, yet anchor us to the ground?
It is inescapable, haunting, yet at the same time it is still my greatest source of comfort.
Should I stay or should I go now – I believe someone else used that phrase and sang a tune along with it (grin).
Maybe the falling leaves have brought this feeling of loss to front and centre.
Where is my faith? What is my purpose? When will “this” sentimental journey end?
I guess today is a day of questions. And having said that – maybe today begins a new “quest” for closure.
How is closure best achieved?
And the photo frame flashes images at me like pieces of a patchwork quilt. They all blend together in an odd, yet harmonious blanket of comfort.
TTFN – for now.