C’est un fait accomplis…


At the time it made my stomach churn.

I have never felt that sort of absolute discomfort in my life – until I took things from Mom and Dad’s that I thought – believed had no right coming home with me.

Today was the day.

Mom and Dad came home with me… I think.

My biggest question has always been, “Where are they?”.

If I take their things home with me – do they come? Or do they stay in their own place / space?  I feel Mom and Dad when I ‘m there – and I don’t necessarily feel them when I’m home.  In fact – it’s easier to decide the fate of their “things” when I bring the things home.  The things seem to become mine – and not so emotional – when they are here.  Does that mean they are really only things?

Oh, this was a day.  It will be one that I shan’t soon forget.

I served a Sunday dinner off Mom’s plates – and I sit in the front room writing this post while watching the picture frame flash me images of our lives that Dad used to watch.  There is the property – there is the Officer’s Mess – there is Dad opening his last Christmas gift – there is Mom celebrating her birthday – there is Megan’s graduation – and there is Dad’s inurnment celebration…  I don’t know how he did it; I don’t know how he watched his life flash and continue… But he did.  And I am so appreciative of that – it made my life so much easier when he got up and out of bed to “live”.

There is an image of Dad in Grade 8.

There is Mom eating off Mary Anne and Jamie’s “good” dishes in St. Catherine’s.

There is Mom, Dad, and Auntie Helen eating –

There is Jan, Jacquie, Jamie, and me as a baby.

And there is Dad and his sister Peg on the deck of the condo. that I just gave the keys away for… so that it would be on the market for sale tomorrow.

Dad is in the plane – flying.

Mom is looking beautiful in her Hawaiian outfit ready to go out to a party.

It just doesn’t stop.

I love the photos and I hate them.

Dad and Leonard Birchall….

The pool on the farm…

What did people do before technology?  What did people do before cameras?  Memories are fantastic!  And they are painful.  I guess in time – the photos will become easier to watch…

Today I thought a box that indicated its contents was a glass bowl turned out to be a box full of super 8 films… another job for Costco.

Today the letter from Revenue Canada asked me to do more paper-work.

Today – the request for help from the Cancer Society went back into the mailbox with a giant, “Deceased” marked across the front of the envelope – as did the requests for money from McLean’s, National Geographic, Parkinson’s Society… and so on.

Mom and Dad at the beach… flashes on the screen.

Mom and Dad celebrating their 61st anniversary (the last one…) with each other, Ben and I.  We had such a nice time together.

Fran and Floyd and I, on the occasion of their son’s funeral….

Today is the day – the keys to the condo have been picked up.  The final vacuum has been done (thank-you Mary Anne and Megan!) and the Royal Dalton figurines have been transported to my home.  There are safe – snuggled in a place worthy of their prominence.

We ate Sunday dinner off Mom’s plates tonight.  And they were all washed, dried, and returned to their rightful “new” location without incident.

It is all new – and it is all old.

The inurnment again.

A photo of Mom and Dad kissing.

And – it’s over.  A new day will dawn tomorrow.  For tonight though, c’est un fait accompis!

 

 

 

 

 

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Categories: Family and Friends, Life After Dad, Life's Lessons, Mom | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

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10 thoughts on “C’est un fait accomplis…

  1. So full of emotion. It shows a whole lot of love. xxHugsxx

  2. Beautifully put Stacy and it does get easier. I am not sure I could have written Dad’s story after he passed 11 years ago. I think that is why I did not find his WWII album until now. I think that is why his letters did not come to me recently. It is now time, as I can deal with the loss now. But it has taken me a 11 years to get here. I have learned so much about Dad from blogging about his letters. So much that I did not know about his time as a soldier. One step and one letter at a time.

    • Thanks, Nancy. Yes – I seem a little consumed and overwhelmed these days… I think closure of the condo will help me to wrap my head around the new reality. 11 years is a long time – I’ll be an old lady by then.. but you are right. One letter at a time. And I’m glad you can finally “meet” your dad.

  3. Daniela

    It was a privilege to read such tenderly beautiful words!
    Thank you,
    Daniela

    • Well, thank-you. I wish I could say I wrote them – I think they flowed through my fingers and I was merely the conduit. Yesterday was almost a blurr… Thanks.

  4. Alice

    Whew…breathless and wordless.

  5. I know those days well and you have put into words what I could not. TY!

    • Well – I find that hard to believe that you couldn’t put it into words… your work is so beautiful. I guess that I have talked so much to so many people about my journey that my words have limbered up a bit? I wonder how many of us know these days? Funny how these days didn’t exist when we were kids, eh? How come now, all of a sudden, there are so many of us with similar experiences? Couldn’t be age.. could it? (grin) TTFN

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