My morning walk with Barb began with a message from Mom. I didn’t notice it at first, nor did I put the pieces together until several houses into our walk. It was Barb who first wanted to just “stop” and look at the rainbow. It was Barb who said, “this is a gift”. Her words flooded my soul and cleansed me as I understood this was a gift from Mom. The rainbow meant, “Stacey – it will all be okay. You can’t get the rainbow without first having the storm.” I felt this rainbow was meant for me. It was not meant for anyone else in the world – just me. Of course that is ridiculous – but at the time Mom was speaking right to my soul. And had Barb not knocked on my door to get me for our walk, I would have missed this message.
So true does this ring in life. How often is it that the darkest moments we flood our brains with feelings of doom and gloom. The storm brews. There is chaos – emotional chaos. Last night was my storm. The feeling of having to take Mom’s dishes away from the condo was just too much. They are only dishes to everyone else… but to my brother and myself they are so much more.
They were carried in Mom’s hands as an extension of her love to us. She served us literally and figuratively on those dishes. We needed the food as much as we needed her love – and both were served in generous quantities.
It takes time to organize an emotional storm into something that is beautiful – just as it takes time for the rain and sun to produce a rainbow.
The rainbow reminded me that when one door closes, a window opens. The dishes will be moved from Mom’s loving reach at the condo today – to Mom’s loving reach in my own home. It’s my turn. Mom may no longer be literally serving us – but we have been well served with her memory.