“I just called to say I love you,
I just called to say how much I care. ” (Stevie Wonder http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwOU3bnuU0k)
I remember this being another one of Dad’s favorite songs and he would sing it full kilter as he strutted his stuff around the room. Mom would giggle and roll her eyes almost as though it was expected – and then join in with a broad smile that just would not be suppressed.
Dad, I can’t tell you how many times this week I’ve thought, “geez, I should call Dad”.
Tonight – you should be there to take my call don’t you know? I have so much to tell you. You and Mom would have listened to me toot my own horn and actually been proud.
I don’t do that in front of anyone else for fear that they would think I was full of myself.
You and Mom were always proud of me – and were anxious to hear my stories – and I told you a lot. My cheer-leaders.
I wish that if I were to dial your number that you would pick up. I remember Dorothee saying the same thing that when you heard the phone ring – you’d hope that it were Mom. Good grief. What I wouldn’t give to get a call from you tonight.
I gave some of your things to Janine today as she had a good place for them – and I gave back the books that she had loaned to me – to help find you peace. I still had a difficult time talking to her. I guess it’s been two months since I lost you – but it’s only been two months. So much has changed, yet, so much is the same.
I am having a great year at school so far, Dad. You’d be so interested in the stories. I have so many wonderful students that are so keen to move their lives forward. There are so many strong individuals who are just so anxious for a better life. I can only hope that I can cheer them on as you and Mom were so good to do with me.
I talked about Mom and you in class today – I hope you don’t mind. I think sometimes the frame of reference helps my students to see me as human. I didn’t cry, though. I only cried with Janine. Well, and now that I’m talking to you.
You would be so proud of Ben, Kat, and David. Each of them would fill you up with stories and adventures and you know you would have to prompt the boys – but Katya would be like a loose cannon – she is so good at telling me stories.
What an exciting time it is in our family – and I can’t share that with you…
But the “tic-tic-tic – swish – tic-tic-tic – swish” of the typewriter keyboard brings me back to reality. Life goes on. “When can we get a new ribbon, Mom?” “Where is the key for Number one, Mom? ” “I have to do a presentation about me, Mom, next week – what should I say?”
Dad, I wish you were here. I know that you and Mom are still “with me” – but sometimes it just doesn’t cut the cake, if you know what I mean. A voice would be nice. A hug would be better. Any physical contact would declare to me that you are still with me. And yet – I know that it is not going to happen. The phone call is not going to come. You and I both waited for Mom’s phone calls. So did Jamie. We still do.
Dad – I wish you would just call to say, “I love you.”.
Stevie Wonder, don’t you know, would not be so pleased with you… guess we are going to have to make that song popular too! And just when our crew thought it was safe to come back into the water after Snow Bird! In all honesty – there is now a huge following of that song – thanks to you, Dad.
(Mom – no one knows the words to those Russian songs… or else we’d be singing them too!)
Good- night Mom and Dad.
Nice to talk with you again.
I love you.