Stacey:  Was that you the other night in the flickering of the light?

Dad:  What do you think?

Stacey:  Well, I’d like to think so – but I am so hesitant to trust my instincts.

Dad:  I understand.

Stacey:  So, was that you?

Dad:  Of course it was.  I am always with you.  As is your mother.

Stacey:  But – I changed the bulb on you.

Dad:  You had to  – I burnt it out.

Stacey:  Right.

Dad:  So, are you okay with everything.

Stacey:  No.  And yes.  I miss you Dad.  I miss our talks.  You and I talked so much about life – about Mom.  You and I shared stories that no one else shared.

Dad:  So – talk to me.

Stacey:  Auntie Helen is coming this week – with the Malloffs and I’m afraid that I can’t do the job of hosting that you and Mom used to do.   I don’t know how to do it without you.

Dad:  Stacey, don’t worry.  Your cousins will help.  Helen will be happy to be with everyone.

Stacey:  But this is the first time you and Mom won’t be around.  Mom wont’ be there to bake her apple pie muffins, or cook her borscht, or to just make our cousins feel welcome.  And you won’t be there to tell jokes or stories.  How can I take your place?

Dad:  Stacey, you will be fine.  I’ll be there – and so will your Mother.

Stacey: Will you make the light flicker?

Dad:  You’ll see.

Stacey:  So, you are going to leave me hanging?

Dad:  Have I ever?

Stacey:  No.

Dad:  Well then?  Play some music – dance – laugh – remember your Mother and I – and we will be there.

Stacey:  Dad – it’s so hard.  I don’t like it.

Dad:  You had us for almost 50 years, Stace. Remember the good things and be thankful.


Dad:  You have  a wonderful family.  And they will help you.  Play music and dance.

Stacey:  Okay, Dad.   Say, “hi” to Mom for me.

Dad: I will.

Stacey:  Tell her I love her.

Dad:  She already knows that – but I will.  I have to go to bed – and so do you.  TTFN

Stacey:  No brandy?

Dad:  Not tonight.

Stacey:  Tomorrow?

Dad:  I’ll have one with the family when they get there.

Stacey:  Promise?

Dad:  Okay.

Stacey:  TTFN, Dad

Dad:  TTFN

ps – Nice job on the Lobster Air post – I didn’t know I was so eloquent!  Grin.  You didn’t tell them about the lighthouse operator’s daughters did you?

Stacey:  Not yet, Dad.  Not yet.  TTFN


Categories: Life After Dad | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

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16 thoughts on “Dad…

  1. Chatter Master

    And what about the lighthouse operator’s daughters???

    I so appreciate your conversations. YOu are lucky to have these.

    • … or coo-coo? They are all in my head, don’t you know – or are they? That’s the big question I wish I had the answer to… Thanks for thinking more “highly” of them rather than dismissing them. TTFN

      • Chatter Master

        How many conversations are played out in our heads that help us get through things? Just because they’re played out in your head, doesn’t mean he isn’t putting his part in there for you. I think it’s beautiful and I suspect he loves it. 🙂

      • (Oh, so comforting) Thank-you.

      • Chatter Master

        🙂 You’re welcome.

    • … or coo-coo? They are all in my head, don’t you know – or are they? That’s the big question I wish I had the answer to… Thanks for thinking more “highly” of them rather than dismissing them. TTFN And the daughters – that story is on tape – waiting for the quiet time to hear them…and to record them.

  2. That’s how close you are – that you even know how the conversation will go. That’s your dad being with you… {Hugs}

    • I hope so, RoSy. You are right, though, we had so many conversations that I knew him so well. Thanks for the hugs!

  3. Trust what is in your heart and the words that come to you. I love that you think you make up a conversation with him, but really he is putting the words in your head. I have to believe they are with us putting words in our heads. I love that they brought us together so we can deal with our loss together.


    • I am so with you, Nancy, on that one. I always feel better after I “talk” to him. Glad you have your Dad to talk to too.

      Funny – it was always Mom I spoke with before.. and now I seem to turn to Dad more often.

      Glad to share this with you – and glad you share your Dad with me.


  4. what an intriguing thought. I just had to change two light bulbs again tonight and i don’t have a spare for the porch and am expecting my son.. how interesting.. I must go back and read more of your work.. Good morning, I am cecilia.. c

    • Good morning, Celia. Glad you could join this community. You will notice there are a few very interesting characters in my blogging group and they are all very well spoken. Check out “notsofancynancy” who lost her WWII father not that long ago – and RoSy who is a wonderful therapist and justifies my moods. For humor I count on Chattermaster. Stefanie Neumann also give fantastic insight into th ehuman psychy. There are so many others – this is a start.

  5. Jamie Duff


    I have every confidence in you. You are our Mother and Father’s daughter. You will be a fabulous hostess with all the mom and dad brought to any gathering. I wish that I could be there with you … But I KNOW that you’ll be the best … You’re a Duff for heaven’s sake 🙂


    • Thank-you for that vote of confidence, Jamie., big brother. Yes – I wish you could be here too – it would have been nice to have all the family around.

      We will have a glass of wine for YOU in the gazebo and toast both you and our parents.

      Cheers, for Heaven’s sake!. (Nice one!)

      Love, Stacey

  6. Alice

    What’s in our heads is real.

  7. Pingback: Dad-daughter dances are discriminatory…apparently « THE SCARECROW

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