Stacey:  Dad, I feel a little lost today.

Dad:  I understand.  You have to change your routines, Stacey. 

Stacey:  I don’t remember what it felt like to have so much free time, Dad. 

Dad:  You’ll find yourself.  You were always so busy – it’s good to slow down.  Mom and I always worried about you. 

Stacey:  You took over the role of worrying when Mom passed away – and you worried about everyone and everything.  I gave the girls an “investment/ money management” magazine at the Nanny- Party the other day.  They really liked it. They talked about how you always encouraged them to not spend their money. 

Dad:  They have to be wise and not spend it all.  I always had to reign in your Mother’s spending or she would have spent the whole lot on the grandchildren.  How are they doing? 

Stacey:  Actually, Dad, they are doing very well.  You’d be so proud of them.  Ben is guarding at Johnson’s Beach today and Katya is working at Canadian Tire.  She has some really good stories to tell about her experiences.  

Dad:  And what is Ben going to do about school?

Stacey:  I don’t know yet.  Do you know?  Is that what you can now do is see the plan unfold? 

Dad:  I can’t tell you that.  You’ll have to wait. 

Stacey:  I can wait – sort of.  If I went to a psychic do you think I’d be able to talk to you and Mom? 

Dad:  I can’t answer that either.  

Stacey:  It’s so lonely without you, Dad.  I have such a wonderful family but like you said, you can only really talk to those who share your stories with you.  I feel lost.

Dad:  You’ll be okay.  Don’t be impatient, Stacey.  You always want things “right now”.  That was your Mother in you.  Patience is a virtue.  I had to learn to be patient and you can too. 

Stacey:  But it’s so difficult, Dad. 

Dad:  If everyone could do it – then it wouldn’t be so extraordinary.  You take care of that beautiful family of yours and stop thinking of me so often. 

Stacey:  It’s hard, Dad.  I really miss you.  And I miss Mom.  

Dad:  We are both here for you always, Stacey.  Remember look to the morning Sun and you’ll find Mom and I’m there in the wind – just watch for the trees to bow their heads.  You remember.  Think of the happy times.  That’s how I got through after your Mom passed away. 

Stacey:  I know, Dad.. “Who has seen the wind?”

Dad:  “Neither you nor I.  But when the trees bow down their heads..”

Both:  “The wind is passing by.”

Stacey:  TTFN, Dad.  

Dad:  TTFN

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3 thoughts on “Lost

  1. It does get easier, but never 100%. I love that our father’s are the reason we met each other. Sending you a big hug, TTFN

    • Nancy – it feels like you could be my sister – I love your comments – they resonate so clearly with me – yes, I agree how wonderful it has been to meet you through our fathers. I often feel neglectful of Mom – because I didn’t begin this blog until after she passed away. She was so wonderful. I was always so much closer to her and was worried when I was left “alone” with Dad – in the beginning. Of course, I got to know him. The Good Lord has plans – they may not be of our design – but they seem to be better than anything I could plan. Do you feel the same way?

      • Absolutely! and Yes! let’s just say we are sisters! I was a daddy’s girl so I was always closer to Dad. Know this, Dad has been gone since 2001 and I still miss him so much. But it has taken me sometime to be able to write about him. I am not sure I could have done it before now, mentally. With his letters I am learning about a Dad I did not know. God bless you sister friend and it will get easier. I know for a fact it will.
        Big Hugs.

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