Hello Paula

message from Stacey: I wrote this post on behalf of my Dad last year. He was leaving the world at this time and I wanted to understand what he was thinking. Funny how these words came to my mind. I think they represent what he thinking quite well. I was always very happy to remember that Dad admitted I taught him how to express his emotions – that only came after Mom passed away and I would force him to speak of her. I knew it hurt him – but I also knew that by talking through his emotions he would be able to process them. Please, enjoy this interpretation of Dad’s last love story.

Story: Hello Paula
I lost my Paula November 12, 2010 and my life has never been the same.

When I met Paula, she took my breath away – and she has that same effect on me today.  I have always believed that Paula was the “one for me”.  I don’t know if you believe in destiny, but I sure do.  Paula was my life – we shared so much together.  When you live with someone for so long it’s like you become each other – but still we were still very independent.

We enjoyed so much together – we golfed and played bridge – farmed raspberries and made maple syrup – we danced until the sun came up – we raised a beautiful family – we laughed and we cried.  We’ve been through births together and we’ve been though deaths together.  What a wonderful life we had.

Each time the phone rings – I wish it were Paula at the other end.  Losing a partner is like losing a limb.  She was so much a part of me – sometimes I find it difficult to get out of bed thinking that I’ll have to pass by her bedroom to get to the “outside” world.  And I am struggling with that journey these days.  I used to walk by her room and feel comforted that my Paula was there, resting, but she was there.  Paula was always there.

I believe that she is waiting for me.  I don’t know why the good Lord has not called me yet.  What is my purpose?  My daughter and I often speak about what it is that I have yet to do… but for the life of me.. I don’t know.  Who does know.  Stacey asked me once when it was my time to go – who I would look forward to seeing first.  What do you think I answered?  Right.  Paula – and my Lord.

Dennis Posno – the minister at my church said that he believed she’ d have a wonderful meal all prepared for me – as she always did – with all the fixings -as she always did – and say – as she always did – if I didn’t ask for seconds she’d say, “you don’t like my cooking”.

I can’t wait for her cooking -and I can’t wait to taste again.  As one ages, one loses the enjoyment of “taste” – but I give it my best by telling my daughter (who cooks Paula’s recipes for me to enjoy) that I enjoy her meal.  Lately – this is becoming more and more challenging as my appetite has diminished.

Paula is waiting for me… I see her in my dreams.  I hear her singing, “good night Irene, good night, Irene, I’ll see you in my dreams”, and hope to hear her beautiful voice once more for real.

Paula is waiting.

I know she is ready.

But am I?  Paula is still the only one who takes my breath away.

Only the good Lord knows what is in store for me and when I can hold my dear Paula in my arms once again.  And then, I’ll smile.


Categories: Family and Friends, Life's Lessons | Tags: , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

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13 thoughts on “Hello Paula

  1. Good morning to you my Friend!!!! 🙂 Thank you for sharing such a wonderful post. I so enjoy your memories of Paula. They remind me to take advantage of every minute I have with my Wife. We have only been married for 33 years. Between you and me, your Postings about your wonderful Wife are helping me in my relationship with my Wife. So keep the faith, put on that wonderful Smile of yours and look to this day as a gift and a new adventure!!! Take care and God Bless…. Kenny T

    • Kenny – always – thank you for your words. I’m so glad that my words have helped you – yes you need to cherish things that you hold dear. My wife is waiting for me – and one morning I know I will wake up and see her once again – that will be my Heaven.
      ENjoy this beautiful day!

  2. Janine Baines

    Thank you for the insight. I long for a love like that. The way it is suppose to be….. Thank you for sharing your life and the beautiful writings bring tears to my eyes as usual. Tears of joy for a life well lived. You are a blessed man Mr Duff

  3. Alice

    It will be a feast!

  4. Thank you for this post. These gentle reminders to enjoy every day are priceless.
    I think when you get to heaven that your wife will be there to congratulate you for all of the lives you have touched with your open writing. Always have seconds.

  5. Donna Langman

    She was a great cook! The meals always seemed to huge to me! I could never eat everything that was offered, that is for sure!

  6. Reblogged this on In The Corner and commented:

    Always good to remember…

  7. Oh Stacey…..how beautiful their love is. Is. Is. It still exists. ❤

    • I believe it does too, Colleen! They are still my role models. I think of them everyday — there is always something that I refer back to about them. “Mom would have like this.” “Dad would have said … ” And on and on.

  8. Beautiful..that’s all i can say 🙂

    • THanks, Pepe. It was easy to write about them. So – the beauty is all theirs. Hardest part about losing Mom was watching Dad suffer without her. But – he is no longer suffering.

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